Dowry,Sugar n Spice: Part 3
There are two great Indian pastimes one is gossiping and the other is giving advice, naah Pak-bashing comes a distant third 
.
And I can bet these two are at their zenith(or is it nadir) in my friends case.
Every Tom,Dick and Harry , who hasnt called her in a gazallion years now feels morally obligated to call her and show his/her immense care and wisdom he/she has gained through his/her learning of scriptures and having walked on this ‘third rock from the sun’ for a longer time than her.
And then following the great Indian tradition of taking-it-all-lying-down, comes the various advices ‘ Everyone takes and gives dowry’ , ‘We cannot thrust our ideals and principles on someone else’ ‘Its been happening like this for ages and we have to accept it’ ‘They expect to get some money for their sons marriage’ , ‘Dont worry we elders will take care of the dowry, you just enjoy life’ ‘Life is too valuable to fritter away like this’
And when all these pieces of advice hit the wall , they threaten ‘You will remain unmarried if u carry this attitude’ , ‘You will bring bad name to your family’ , ‘ You got to listen to your elders else you will rot in hell’ and sundry.
And I bet this is what is happening in the gossiping circles, which has speed that can surpass that of light (sorry Einstein). ‘I knew she had this kind of attitude since she was a kid’ , ‘This girl is so arrogant, she uses all big words’ , ‘Its her parents, who didnt know how to bring her up ‘ , ‘She listens to no one and thinks that some prince will come to rescue her’.
Listening to all this makes me puke twice, both times on them, once for their gossiping and the next one for their giving advice.
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Excerpts from a mail from my friend
Guys would always argue that they incur expenditure in providing food, clothing and shelter to the girl they’d marry, which otherwise, should have been borne by the girls family. When I asked them why they go for educated and working women, they say, they want an educated girl, ‘cos their children would be intelligent, and they don’t want their wife to be working, at the same time, they don’t mind if she wants to work !!
And girls are not good either. My friends say, “My dad can afford to give money. Then, why should I cling to a silly sentiment and miss a good alliance, given the fact that it’s difficult and very time consuming to find highly educated, and well employed guys??”
Well, as long as there are women(?) like these, there’ll be men(?) who’d demand for money, like those we see in the trains and railway platforms.
I have a question for guys: If marriage is important only for the girls, then why are guys eager to get married? If it’s not for the companionship and compassion in that relationship, and if you are getting married just for relieving someone of their so called burden, why do you want to do it? You can as well manage your living by employing others for all that a wife can do for you. Anyway, wife is a devil, mother-in-law is a villian, father-in-law is a dumbo, and marriage out an end to all happiness in your life..
And for girls, what’s the fun in dedicating your life’s happiness to someone who lacks self respect, who doesn’t know how to be honest in a relationship, and one who lacks confidence in himself? If robbing is a crime, is this not white collar robbing? If kidnapping and demanding a ransom is a crime, isn’t this similar to that?!! You despise crimals, look down upon beggars, and yet, are ready to share your life with someone no better than them!! You are expected to stay beautiful, to have no intelligence of your own(sad, buit that’s what guys like.. someone who’s obedient toooo reasonably), be a caretaker and a cook, be great in bed, have kids, bring them up properly, singlehandedly most of the times, do all this while you work and earn and still you are a burden, so your dad has to pay for that!!!
Whenever I happen to get into discussions as these, I get the same old answers, and after I leave, they’ll start discussing ME. “God! This girl is too much. She thinks she’s great, or waht?? She’s so arrogant! If she goes on with this attitude, no guy would marry her. Doesn’t talk like a girl at all !!…. ” Good that this has made me notorious atleast, if not famous.. )
Well, marriage is not a service agreement, but an agreement of love and commitment. It’s a bridge between two families, acquainting strangers. Interlocking it with greed is simply SICK.
